The Ripping of A Butterfly's Wings
by dewdrop721
Summary: Sho never could leave well enough alone. It was his greatest nightmare the day Kyoko fell for Ren. Now however he has the power to change the past and his future with her. Despite Reino's warning that's exactly what he will do. Is it truly worth it?
1. Mental

As Fuwa Sho struggled against his restraints, he realized that his attempts were futile. The stray jacket had been put on as soon as he got violent with the nurses. He could still feel the throb of his fists from fighting against the burly male nurses who had been called when he'd lost it. Reporters who had come to get dirt on Kyoko after her recent tragedy had swooped down on the crazed rock star as he fought to run from the hospital and the horrible reality they were facing.

_This all my fault._

He could still hear the garbled mess they'd made as they yelled and asked question upon question. They didn't care that he was grieving over the loss of Kyoko. They didn't care that he probably wasn't stable. All they saw was Fuwa Sho finally losing his cool as he had a breakdown at the hospital.

_This all my fault._

He could still the pained face of Tsuruga Ren as he watched Kyoko being sped through the emergency doors of the hospital. She couldn't even breathe on her own. Tubes were being shoved down her throat and monitors that were supposed to measure her vitals were flat lining.

He wondered if Tsuruga had even understood the message he'd tried to give him. He'd been yelling, screaming over the noise of the paparazzi and nurses who been trying to get him his own room.

_This is all my fault. _

He probably hadn't. Even if he did, would he believe Shoutaro? He probably thought he was going insane just like everyone else.

Sho was the only person who could stop this all then. He was the only one who could stop all this from ever happening and he was on lockdown. Drugs to calm him. Restraints to hold him. He was also out of earshot from media hounds and any crazed fans.

There was nobody to help him. Nobody to listen.

Nobody would believe what he had to say. Any chance that Kyoko might have had would die with him as he rotted in whatever mental ward he was currently in.

_This all my fault._

He wished he could take everything back. Wished that he could rewrite the future as he had before. Or better yet, stop himself from doing in it the first place. If he could just get out of these damn restraints he could…could…still be trapped in the fucking mental ward.

He was screwed.

Kyoko was screwed.

Tsuruga was screwed.

Whatever life they had together was now gone. And the life that everyone was living now was wrong.

_This is all my fault!_

As Sho fought and struggled trying to free himself, he finally realized how stupid this was. He could feel his wrists being rubbed raw form his frantic movement and yet they never gave. He could feel the tears running down his face as he realized how fucking hopeless this was.

Kyoko was dead.

She's dead.

He could feel himself losing touch with reality now. The tears ran even harder down his face as he began to kick and roll about.

He could hear a frantic high pitched beeping. His vitals maybe?

He didn't care as fought and cursed and foamed. He barely noticed it as the nurses came back. Grabbing hold of him they tried to force him to calm down.

Like a frightened and pained animal he only fought harder and soon he could feel it. The pinch of a needle being shoved in his neck.

The adrenaline that had kept him fighting for so long dissipated as whatever drug they'd used to sedate him began to take effect.

His limbs grew heavier and the fight left him as his body grew heavier than stone. He was losing touch with reality. Everything began to slow down, so drastically that it was like he was in slow motion.

He couldn't understand what they were saying. Couldn't understand what he had been screaming.

He could barely remember anything anymore as the world began to fade away.

_This…is all...my faul—_

Sho had failed.


	2. A Silent Witness

Sometimes the worse thing to be is a witness.

How so you ask? Fuwa Shotarou could articulate the feeling perfectly.

See a witness is the one that sees it all happening. Most think it's better because then they don't get directly affected. They aren't the ones to suffer the fate the victim has.

They have a chance.

They might not make the same mistakes.

But besides that, what happens when you see something happen, something horrible, so sickening that it cuts you deep inside and you wish to heavens you could change it, but you couldn't?

How bad does it hurt to see others in pain and know that you are just a witness? Not a savior, no, just a witness.

Being a witness means you lived through the experience and though you did not experience the same fate as the victim, you will always remember what you saw.

Then again that's assuming that what you saw was bad.

What happens when what you witness is happy? Well that doesn't sound as horrible as previously stated now does it?

Unless, you're a witness to a happy moment and left with the knowledge that it can never be yours.

Doesn't it sting, seeing the joy others can know, and you yourself know it's true that you will never be privy to that.

It's a gift that you will never hold.

A joy that will always elude you.

A testament to all that could have been but never will.

Doesn't it eat away at you inside?

It did to Fuwa Shotarou.

He sat and watched the news and scowled as they talked about the newest movie to hit the screen. Cinema's finest. A movie that had received raving reviews and was at the top and had been for about 2 weeks.

Learning to Live Again.

The film, Learning to Live Again, had received critical acclaim. The story of a man returning from war with no will to live who found love with a cancer patient who was fighting to make every day worth remembering, brought to tears to even the coldest and most harsh critics eyes. It reached deep within peoples' souls and made people realize that there was a difference between just existing and truly living.

It made Sho burn with ire as they showed the two leads.

Hizuri Kuon and Hizuri Kyoko.

Sho must have been a masochist. No matter how bad it seemed to kill him on the inside he refused to pick up the remote and change the channel.

It was just as Kyoko had said about 2 years ago.

He was as stubborn as an ass.

Well… actually she had called him a stubborn ass not as stubborn as one, but same thing.

She had called him a lot of things after she had vowed revenge and swore to hate him for all eternity.

At least then she had thought of him.

Sho watched as the TV talk show host smiled with a smile that was halfway blinding and clearly the product of numerous teeth bleaching.

"Kon'nichiwa! My name is Hayashida Etsuko and we're back with Tokyo Today! The newest scoop in the news is on Tokyo's couple to be…the Hizuri's!"

The host waited with a patient smile as the audience cheered and applauded. Their applause were thunderous.

She smiled gracefully and with a small giggle continued on. "I know! They're phenomenal aren't they? Today we'll be taking a sneak peek at their newest movie, "Learning to Live Again". It's taken the movie theaters by storm and as if they weren't wonderful enough, the very first week that it opened it was dedicated to a very special audience."

Etsuko stepped aside and watched as the plasma screen behind her clicked to life and stopped on a still of a thin young woman with wispy blonde hair and golden eyes.

"This is the female protagonist played by the chameleon herself, Kokoro. A young woman diagnosed with cancer, Kokoro knows that every day is a gift and that time had been painfully put into perspective for her. She's jut out to make every day worth living."

The screen clicks as the clip begin to play. The crowd is silent as a soft, voice fills the room and begins to weave her tragic story.

"_Life. Life is funny. Do you know that many people live every day, but then again they don't? It's a conundrum isn't it?_

_To answer how that's possible…it's because even though they live, their hearts beat and they breathe, they don't live each day._

_They exist. They go through the motions, but they don't really and truly live life._

_You're probably wondering how I have the right to judge people this way. What makes me so knowledgeable about life and the way people live it?_

_It's because I was once one of them."_

{_The screen fades from black to an image of shapely teen girls performing gymnastics. One girl stands out from the rest. She has golden eyes filled with purpose and determination. Her face is emotionless as she stretches her mile long legs and focuses on the crowd of spectators and judges. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes as the applause began to fade and the crowd goes silent. Her eyes snap open and she launches her thin body into her routine and a sure path to victory.}_

"_I was one of the top young gymnasts in the whole of Japan. I was the one to look out for. I had scholarships and plenty of money coming my way. I wasn't conceited or anything but endless hours of training paid off. I was young, talented, and beautiful and I had a bright future in store for me. I could never have known that it wouldn't last._

_{The screen fades from the young girl standing as she receives an award to the scene of an accident.}_

_{The screen pans down to show the victim's face.}_

"_That was me. That day I had felt a little weird but it didn't seem so serious. Then things started fading in and out of focus and I…I never saw it coming…I …crashed."_

_{The camera shows Kokoro unconscious and bleeding from a wound on her head. She is not breathing.}_

"_That day the promising young gymnast, Kokoro, caused a three car accident when she fell unconscious at the wheel and hit another car._

_I woke up in the intensive care unit with my mother crying over me. I was still foggy and not quite lucid. I didn't understand why she was still upset when I was awake."_

_{Kokoro's mother hugs her tightly and her sobs increase as she looks into her daughter's dazed eyes.}_

"_When I finally was well I learned the reason for my mother's tears and for my almost fatal crash._

_I had cancer._

_That was the day I learned that I might just be dying._

_That was the end of my future._

_That was the end of almost everything."_

_{The screen shows a dimly lit room. In a hospital bed, Kokoro sits alone crying silently.}_

"_From now on, my days were numbered."_

_{The camera gives a final shot of sad golden eyes looking directly at the audience.}_

The large screen stops on that final shot.

Some people in the crowd were sniffling already.

"Wasn't that heart wrenching? I myself shed more than a few tears when I went to see it at its debut. It really tugs at your heart strings now doesn't? As I said before, the first week that it was in theaters, the stars themselves had a very special audience attend. The theater was reserved for the children in long term care at the Hamimatsu General Hospital. They got to meet their favorite stars and spend the day with them."

The crowd cheers and claps and Etsuko waits till they calm down once more.

"I thought you all would like a special treat so…lets a round of applause to a celebrity guests for today.. Hizuir Kuon and Hizuri Kyoko."

The crowd goes wild as the star couple enters the stage and give charming smiles.

As Sho stared at the screen he resisted the urge to pick up the remote and throw it through the screen. He hated how he couldn't even flip the channel without having their glorious love shoved in his face.

It was enough to make him sick.

Before he could gripe any longer in his head, Sho heard frantic banging at his door. Before he could even get it up to open it, the door bust open and in rushed his manager, Shoko Aki.

"SHO! You're not even ready yet! I have been calling for an hour and a half! The New Year's Celebration starts in 3 hours and we still have to get there and and get you set up for your performance! And I had to skip out n getting ready myself because the star I manage sudden;y disappeared off the face of the Earth!"

Shoko's blonde wavy hair was sticking up in several places and her cheeks were already blushed form running to his room. She definitely didn't look anywhere near willing to handle his somewhat lazy antics at this point.

He decided not to put up a fight this time. Quite honestly, Shoko was a very good talent manager and if she suddenly decided she'd had enough of him, she probably would be able to find another star soon enough.

After all, he had already succeeded in chasing off the one person he'd always thought would be there. He wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.


End file.
